for Stuart Mumford - oil change, how to (easy)

[don draper <donnydogood@xxxxxxxx>]

 Dear Stuart;

      These are the steps I followed,... hopefully may be of some
help.

 1) start early Sunday morning, so you don't feel pressured and will
be sure to finish in time for ride with friends

 2) remove belly pan - clean carefully, wrap lovingly and place in
cardboard box marked with the legend - Belly Pan. Store in a safe
place where you'll be able to find it to re-install when you sell
your bike, or sell to someone who thinks he needs one

 3) warm engine (not hot, per previous posts) and park bike over a
large piece of cardboard (newspapers can substitute)
 
 4) position oil pan beneath crankcase of motorcycle 

 5) remove oil filler cap and place on floor where it can't fall off

 6) try to loosen oil plug with your wrench which is closest to the
proper size

 7) if your first service was done at a shop with a young, strong
apprentice technician, get a piece of pipe to put over the wrench
handle for more leverage

 8) borrow large vice-grips (locking pliers), apply to stripped oil
drain plug head and loosen plug until it can be turned by hand

 9) turn plug out slowly by hand until oil starts to seep out,...
then turn it out as fast as you can to remove it before the hot oil
becomes unbearable.

10) as quickly as possible, re-position oil pan under crankcase so
the oil is no longer pouring out onto the floor 

11) try not to drip too much oil on floor walking to corner of garage
to get rags, wipe oil off hands 

12) look for more newspapers,... if necessary get some of your wife's
old towels (more on this later) to mop up excess oil from garage
floor 

13) remove oil filter, which will then remind you to re-position pan
to receive the remainder of the oil

14) crank starter to scavenge the last little bit of oil, trying not
to knock over bike in your haste to shut the engine off before
permanent damage occurs

15) remove, cap and clean your oil drain pan and the mess on the
floor

16) go to buy replacement oil and filter, dumping your drain pan at a
recycle facility on the way

17) returning home, place a little oil on the filter gasket and
install filter

18) place funnel in oil filler hole and pour oil carefully into
funnel, this will remind you that you haven't re-installed the oil
drain plug.

19) clean up mess and look for oil drain plug, shortly you will
recall that you dropped it into the oil drain pan due to the 'warm'
oil.

20) look in oil drain pan and shake vigorously until assured it does
not contain drain plug

21) go to recycle center to be assured plug is not retrievable

22) buy another quart of oil while you're out 

23) call friends and inform them of child's illness which prevents
you from riding with them today

24) after work on Monday (Tuesday if your Triumph dealer is closed on
Monday, many are in the U.S.) go to Triumph shop and buy new oil
drain plug,... they always have some in stock for just this reason

25) while there, surreptitiously practice with a torque wrench to see
what 24NM (Nautical Miles) feels like

26) arriving home, install oil drain plug and tighten to
approximately the feeling you remember from 25) above

27) put in 4 quarts of oil, plus a little left-over in the can you
tried to put in Sunday

28) look for oil filler cap; after searching thoroughly in the
garage, go out to trash can to search through oily papers and wife's
old towels
(more on this later), remember that trash was picked up this morning

29) rush back to Triumph shop hoping someone will still be there

30) Tuesday (or Wednesday, as the case may be), go to Triumph shop
after work and buy new oil filler cap,... they always have some in
stock for just this reason

31) go home, install oil filler cap and start engine; ride bike for
short distance

32) pull into garage and check under bike for leaks, tighten oil
filter and oil drain plug until seepage stops; DO NOT OVERTIGHTEN

33) call friends and explain you can't go riding Sunday because you
will be taking a cruise with you wife, to appease her for ruining her
family heirloom towels

 Performance improves with practice; after 40 years of experience I
can now perform this work in as little as two dozen steps. Good luck!

             - - - o%\o   (the motorcyclist formerly known as
Dogood)

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