[ST] Instructions, Oh! the Instructions

[Lex Offer <reffoxel@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

I was looking through the manual and was kind of amused by all the warnings, funny enough a friend sent me this the same day.

> The dumbing down of humanity
> 
> 
> In case you needed further proof that the human  race is doomed to stupidity, here are some  actual label   instructions on consumer goods:
>  
>  1. On Sears' hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping.  (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
>  
>  2. On a bag of Fritos chips: "You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside". (Evidently, the shoplifter special)
>  
>  3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:  Use like regular soap."  (And that would be how?)
>  
>  4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions:  Defrost."  (But it's *just* a suggestion)
>  
>  5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on Bottom of box): "Do not  turn upside down."  Oops, too late!)
>  
>  6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."  (As night follows the day . . . .)
>  
>  7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."  (But wouldn't this save even more time?)
>  
>  8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking this medication."  (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
>  
>  9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."  (One would hope)
>  
>  10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."  (As opposed to what?)
>  
>  11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."  (I gotta admit, I'm curious).
>  
>  12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."  (NEWS FLASH)
>  
>  13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:  "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."  (Step 3:  Fly Delta).
>  
>  14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."  (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one).
>  
>  15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."  (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?. Good God)
> 
> 
Lex "Digital Dawg" Offer
reffoxel@xxxxxxxxxxx
2000 Saphire Sprint ST
1986 VF1000 F-2 Bol d'Or

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