[ST] The Smiley Bag incident

["STeve Duncan" <xhippy@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

I don't think I ever did post to this to the list.  At the time I did not 
want to discuss it until I had my insurance settlement.  That took two 
months.  So here is the blow by blow I wrote up.  Kids, don't try this at 
home.

STeve
________________________________________________________________


Back in May, after a glorious three-day weekend of barnstorming the northern 
Arkansas Ozarks, myself and two other bikes (John Morin from Austin, BRG-ST, 
and Brian & Stephanie, Dallas, Black-ST ) were headed back to Dallas.  We 
had left Bull Shoals early and planned on an easy ride back to big "D" via 
412 to 540 to 40 to 69 and on in.  Yeah, we had all our fun on the previous 
2-1/2 days and just wanted to make decent time.  The strafing behind us, 
time to get home, 500 miles to go.

About 10 miles east of Huntsville I am leading, coming around a left hand 
sweeper, easy, 60-65, I am approaching a car ahead, with a right-hander 
about 150 yds beyond.  I slow and notice a small grey bag float over the 
roof of the car.  No sooner do I notice this than it seems to have radar and 
*smack*, attaches itself directly to my faceshield!!  For a nano-instant I 
think this is cute.  Because what I can see most clearly (in fact the only 
thing) is a big yellow "smiley" face staring at me eye-to-eye 2 inches away. 
  I causally reach up with my left hand to remove the hitch-hiker, but, I 
can get NO purchase to the slick little bastard.  It's stuck, firm.  My 
amusement quickly deteriorates, to concern....  I am traveling at 88 feet 
per second, I am completely disoriented.  I cannot tell if I am still in my 
lane or going into approaching traffic, or if I am about to rear-end the car 
in front, or, or......there is a 4 foot ditch on my right AND a vertical 
rock wall!  How close is that upcoming corner now????  Holy Sheite!  I 
*think*  maybe three or four seconds have passed at this point, that's an 
entire football field!!  It is now official panic time.  I cannot dislodge 
the bag, "smiley" is unconcerned (Thank-you Wal-Mart).  Now all I can think 
is *STOP*, STOP NOW!!!!!

OK, I am actually already on the brakes, instinctively, but I am also *too 
hard* on the rear and I realize the back-end is swapping to the left (I am 
still blind here, and my equilibrium is shot) so I do a little body lean and 
slowly try and ease off the rear to prevent a hi-side.  Too much lean, not 
enough "ease".  I now have a full low-side going with the rear kicked out to 
right (note, left-side low-side, much better than right-side hi-side).

Just then the angle/the wind, whatever, decides to dislodge my Wal-Mart 
passenger and I have sight!  But what I am seeing is a low side right down 
the double yellow.  OK, time to bail, I kick off backwards landing on my 
back at 60mph and watch the bike immediately hi-side back over to the right 
(after a small air-borne period).  It was really a slo-mo affair at this 
point, the bike sliding ahead of me, and then momentum grabs me a flips me 
over onto my elbows and knees.  I slid this way for a while and scrubbing 
off speed, eventually do about four barrel rolls, coming to a stop on the 
right shoulder directly behind the bike (which is hanging halfway off into 
the ditch, still running).  Just then I look up in time to see the front 
bumper of a screeching car come to a smoking stop three feet behind me.

I immediately jump up (another reflex) and to my amazement appear unharmed!  
But I know how these things are.  My riding buds are at my side by now, 
asking me if I'm alright and simultaneously getting my bike out of the ditch 
and upright.  I peel off the leathers and they and I survey the damage.  
Leathers trashed, body fine!  Amazing.  I have slid about 50yds down an 
asphalt highway and all I have is a little bruise on my right forearm.  All 
my appendages work, full range of motion, clear head (relatively) and most 
of all I am ALIVE!!!!

The guy in the car behind me was more shook up than I.  He said he did not 
know how he kept from hitting me, and he said he saw the whole "bag" thing 
happen like slo-motion (yeah, me too).  If I had managed to emergency brake 
and kept the bike up, he prolly would have creamed me.  He barely stopped in 
time as it was.

The guy that was in "front" of me when this happened showed back up in about 
5 minutes, looking pale as a ghost.  He said, "Man, I saw the whole thing in 
my rear view mirror, before I got to the turn.  I thought you were dead, 
man.  I had to find a turn around and come back.  I can't believe you are up 
walking around!"

All I can say is; "I *know* I have Guardian Angels, they just appear to be a 
bit mischievous.

I kept the Wal-Mart, "smiley" bag   :)


STeve Duncan
"UnderDawg"
'00 ST-RED
'00 ST-Black (RIP)
Dallas, Tejas






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