Tempting (and then seducing) the fates

[Steve Lawler <slawler@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

*****WARNING*****
Disclaimer:This post should not be read by the humor impaired. Reading
it could lead to advanced cynicism.

I haven't ridden in a month due to too much snow and ice on the roads.
My other excuse is my 32 degree Fahrenheit limit. It used to be 40
degrees Fahrenstock but the ST generates so much heat. Ahhh. It seems
like yesterday that we were complaining about that.

I decided to go out to the garage and see what problems I would
encounter.

Tire pressure. OK

Went to lube the chain but the can of lube would not spray. After a
short period of sitting inside it thawed out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know
WD-40 would not freeze but who gives a fat rat's poop chute.

I finally inserted the key and turned it. If the battery was to be flat
like everyone mentions in the "Miserable news from Jack Lilley blah,
blah, blah" posts I would have to jump it.( we really should change that
subject line; it makes JL appear to bring doom and gloom) If not, I
fully expected the fuel pump to run forever. The whine started and
finally stopped after an eternity-like 2 seconds.

My 14 year old son (the one that wants a Ducati Monster or for that
matter anything cute and italian like his mother) climbed on and we went
for a short ride. I decided to take one of my favorite short-cuts
through the Essex County Hospital grounds. The curves had little piles
of rock salt and the straights had ice patches. ICE PATCHES! Yikes that
tells me, and ya don't need to be an injuneer to know that, it's below
32 degrees Fahrfrumpukin!

We made our way out and about and on our way home we passed the Little
Falls Bank and its trust thermometer that read 31 degrees Fahroutman.
(Damn. I wish I knew how to make that little degree circle sign thingy.)

31 and no heated grips. No electric vest. No electric underwear. No
electric speedos!

So to all of you with flat batteries, forever whining fuel pumps, 40
degree limits and enough Ni-Chrome wire running through your clothes to
stretch from Hinckley to Hong Kong: you have my sympathies and an under
my breath neener-neener-neener.

- -- 
Steve Lawler
A Red Sox fan (and with the trade of Jr., a Reds fan) living in Yankee
country

2000 Sprint ST (Blue, of course)
1980 Honda CM400T "My Little Red Putt-Putt"

I.A.T.S.E. Locals #52 & 84

"Life is far too important to be taken seriously." Oscar Wilde

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