[ST] Adam and Eve (long)

["barry.croft" <barry.croft@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Let's say a guy named Adam is attracted to a woman named Eve. He asks her
out; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.

A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy
themselves. They start to see each other regularly, and after a while,
neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

Then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Eve, and,
without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realise that, as of
tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is a strained silence in the car . . . to Eve, it seems like
a very loud silence. She thinks to herself:  "Gee, I wonder if it bothers
him that I said that. Maybe he's been  feeling confined by our relationship;
maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he
doesn't want, or isn't sure of."

And Adam is thinking: "Gosh. Six months already."

Eve is thinking: "But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd
have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we
are, moving steadily forward. I mean, where are we going? Are we just going
to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward
marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that
level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?"

And Adam is thinking: "So that means it was...let's see ...February when we
started going out, which was right after I had the RS at the dealer, which
means...lemme think about this. Whoa! I am way overdue for a cam chain
tension check.  Mebbee the rockers need to be inspected too."

Meanwhile Eve is thinking: "He's worried. I can see it on his face. Maybe
I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our
relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even
before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's
it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings.
He's afraid of
being rejected."

And Adam is thinking: "And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission
again. I don't care what those guys on the list say, it's still not shifting
right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time.
What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like an
old Harley Sportster, and I paid those incompetent thieves $1600 for the
last service.  Not to mention that crap about keeping the valve shims in
paper envelopes... sheessh." And he grits his teeth.

Eve is thinking: "Now he's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too.
I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel.
I'm just not sure."

Adam is thinking: "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty on
rocker wear. Scumbags!"

Eve is thinking: "Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to
come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care
about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain
because of my self-centred, schoolgirl romantic fantasy."

And Adam is thinking: "Rockers not under Warranty? They want a warranty?
I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up
their a ....!!"

"Adam?" Eve asks aloud.

"What!" snaps Adam, startled and brought back abruptly from thoughts of a
bits of rocker chrome circulating throughout the pristine internals of his
RS.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to
brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..."  (She
breaks down, sobbing.)

"What's the matter with you?" says Adam, puzzled.

"I'm such a fool," Eve sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really
know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." (More
sobs).

"There's no ... horse?" says Adam, wondering how much of the conversation he
missed.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Eve says.

"No!" says Adam, glad to finally be sure of the correct answer.

"It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Eve says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Adam, thinking fast, tries to come up with
an appropriate, safe general response. Finally he comes up with one that he
thinks might do.) "OK," he says.

(Eve, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Adam, do you really feel that
way? I'm so happy." she says.

The next day Eve will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and
she will cry and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
In painstaking detail, they will analyse everything she said and everything
he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, statement,
and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.
They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe
months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never
getting bored with it, either.

Adam will get back to his place, open a Bud, pick up a copy of Performance
Bikes, turn on the TV, and immediately become deeply involved in a rerun of
a 125cc Grand Prix race between two Japanese riders he has never heard of. A
tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind will tell him that something
strange was going on back there in the car, but as he is pretty sure there
is no way he would ever understand what, he figures it's better if he just
doesn't worry about it.

What was that about Mars and Venus?

Barry (with thanks to the Ducati list for inspiration)


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