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[ST] Instructions, Oh! the Instructions
- Subject: [ST] Instructions, Oh! the Instructions
- From: Lex Offer <reffoxel@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2001 21:08:45 -0600
I was looking through the manual and was kind of amused by all the warnings, funny enough a friend sent me this the same day.
> The dumbing down of humanity
>
>
> In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
>
> 1. On Sears' hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
>
> 2. On a bag of Fritos chips: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". (Evidently, the shoplifter special)
>
> 3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
>
> 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (But it's *just* a suggestion)
>
> 5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on Bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down." Oops, too late!)
>
> 6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows the day . . . .)
>
> 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save even more time?)
>
> 8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
>
> 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope)
>
> 10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
>
> 11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious).
>
> 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." (NEWS FLASH)
>
> 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta).
>
> 14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one).
>
> 15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?. Good God)
>
>
Lex "Digital Dawg" Offer
reffoxel@xxxxxxxxxxx
2000 Saphire Sprint ST
1986 VF1000 F-2 Bol d'Or
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