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RE: [ST] selfish?



In the face of the tragedy and loss of another rider and an obviously very
special person there has been a lot of soul-searching on this list. Although
nothing can "fix" the loss or take away the pain, I will offer my
perspective for whatever it may be worth.  Just my .02 worth (or less).

Over 25 years ago I came across a wrecked car and a dying 16 year old girl.
I was with her for what seemed like forever until she quit breathing. Had I
not been trespassing with my dog I would not have found her and she probably
would have died alone. As it was, she'd been there already for many hours
and I think she let herself go once she knew she wasn't alone.

I left the accident scene and took a long, long walk in the Rattlesnake
Mountains.  I decided that if life could end so early, so abruptly then it
wouldn't happen to me before I'd pursued at least one of my dreams.  I
figured it would be a different kind of death to actually die without ever
having taken some chances, without ever following my most important and
sometimes risky dreams.  I started skydiving within a month of finding
sharing the girl's final moments of life.  I have often silently thanked her
for giving me the courage to live my life.  It seemed that it was a way of
making  her death translate into a new kind of life for someone - me.

Yes, I asked the same "should I" questions when I became a parent.  I ride very long distances with the support and understanding of my husband and 13 year old daughter.  They may not live life the same way I do - but they know that I already feel my pursuit of my dreams and pleasures allow me to believe that if I died today I would already have lived well.


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