Re: More Silliness [was RE: [ST] How the academic world sees bikers...]

[Steve Lawler <slawler@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

And another...

One night at around 2am, after a particularly grueling day at work I was
riding home. I was half way through a right hander in a residential area
when suddenly something shot out in front of me.

Whump. Whump. The front bounced and while in the midst of recovering the
rear slid out. Somehow I managed to get out of the mess and came to a
stop. "What was THAT?"

I dismounted, walked back and found a pile of an ex-tabby cat with a
bell on a pink ribbon around its neck. I figured I would kick it out of
the way so that no one else would slip on it. Out of the corner of my
eye, I caught head lights approaching. It was the local gendarme. "Son,
what are you doing?"

I like the way that the helmet hides my pate better than my hair ever
did thus making it pleasant to be called "Son" by guys younger than me.

"Pushing this cat out of the way."

"Did you kill it?"

"It ran out in front me. I couldn't avoid it."

The cop stared me up and down. I believed he was trying to figure if I
was drunk or not. I rolled my eyes. He told me that I would have to find
the owner. I said that I would gladly come back in the morning. He said
"Now!" After arguing and being threatened with a night in jail I began
my quest.

I went to the nearest house. The door was answered by some scruffy, 280
pound, wife-beater wearing, drunk who threatened me with bodily harm if
I didn't get off his porch. I went and told the cop that if I was going
to do this at this hour then he would have to come up to the houses with
me. The cop agreed reluctantly. Moron, this was his idea.

The next door was answered by this sweet old lady in her night gown.

"Excuse me ma'am," I started. "Do you own a tabby cat?"

"Yes, I do."

"With a bell on a pink ribbon?"

"Yes. Oh dear. What happened to Angel?"

I explained the events that led to the demise of Angel. I didn't have
the heart to tell her that it was killed by the "Blue Devil." She was
crying and muttering something about having just gotten all of its shots
and it costing $100. I offered to pay her. At first she refused, but I
insisted. I took out my wallet, handed her the $100 and watched in total
disbelief the cop arrested her.

For selling her pussy.

- -- 
Steve Lawler
Verona, NJ, USA

2001 Sprint ST "Blue Devil"

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a
function."
            -- Unknown

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